Maintaining Your Joy Through The Holidays
The holidays are officially upon us. While the holidays are one of my favorite times of the year, this season can be challenging. The joy of the season can be stolen if we allow it to be. For some people, the holiday season can be a trigger minefield. For others, they live for this season. There are so many holiday events: family gatherings, seasonal parties, holiday shopping, holiday baking, etc. Before we know it, the hustle and bustle of the season can cause us to lose our joy.
Part of the reason we can lose our joy is that our focus is in the wrong area. As Christians, we need to remember to keep our eyes on Christ. In the holiday season, there are many reminders to keep our eye on Christ. During Thanksgiving, we should be focused on the gratitude we have for the blessings God has bestowed upon us. When we choose to focus on gratitude, we are actually renewing our minds (Romans 12:2). In the clinical world, this has been proven through the science of neuroplasticity, which is when your brain creates new pathways. During the Christmas season, many of us forget the reason for celebrating this holiday. Christmas isn’t just about the gifts, the parties, the songs, or Santa. Christmas is about celebrating that God sent to us His most precious gift… that of His Son! God knew His Son would be killed for our sins. However, He chose to send his Son into our world anyway. Throughout the season, remember that we are focusing on our Savior’s birth. Keeping our eyes on Him reminds us that our joy comes from Him alone. Below are some tips to help you maintain your joy and peace throughout the holidays:
Set realistic expectations:
Going into the holiday season, it’s important to assess where our expectations are. It can be easy for us to set unrealistic expectations during this time . We need to realize that our expectations affect the way our holiday season plays out. For example, let’s look at someone who has a toxic family member. If your expectations require changes to the other person’s behavior, that may not be realistic. We need to remember to set expectations that take into consideration where people actually are. Let’s take this a step further. If you saw someone sitting in a wheelchair, would you expect him to stand up and start walking across the room? The chance of this happening, short of a miracle, is low. When we expect family members to change their behaviors for the holidays, especially if there has been no evidence of efforts to make those changes beforehand, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.
Let’s look at another example. If you’re overbooking yourself during the holidays due to wanting to get it all done, there is a high that you will be running towards burnout. Keeping realistic goals for yourself and others helps to set yourself up for a successful and a joyful holiday season.
2. Practice mindfulness:
The holiday season can be filled with triggers. To help combat these triggers, it can be helpful to utilize deep breathing techniques and grounding exercises. It can also be helpful to have some idea of mindfulness activities that can be used in different scenarios, just in case they’re needed. Some of my favorite deep breathing techniques are box breathing or hand breathing. When it comes to grounding exercises, there’s a plethora of choices. Here are some common grounding exercises that can help calm your mind:
5 senses
Splashing cold water on your face
Tense and release (tighten your hands then slowly release)
Object hunt (find 5 colorful objects around you)
Shock your senses (drink something hot/cold, suck on something sour/sweet)
3. Connect With Your Support Team:
Identify 2 to 3 people who are part of your support team. When you feel triggered or are struggling to keep your head above water, reach out to these people. Share how you are feeling with people you can trust. Getting these feelings out through talking or writing can bring relief and a better understanding of your situation.
4. Identify your blessings:
Did you know that when we choose to identify our blessings, it requires us to use our amygdala? The amygdala is the part of our brain where we experience feelings. This means that if you are focusing on gratitude, the negative feelings that are surfacing have to subside. To do this, identify at least 5 things in the moment that you are grateful for.
5. Establish a self-care plan:
The holidays, as we’ve already established, can be very busy. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the busyness of the holidays that we forget to take time for ourselves. Before everything gets too busy, come up with a plan to provide yourself a break during this season. Your self-care plan should be custom fit for you. Here’s a list of potential self-care activities:
Reading
Quiet time
Listening to music
Coloring
Looking at the holiday lights
Grabbing your favorite cup of coffee or hot beverage
Journaling (maybe even gratitude journaling, hello #4)
Meditation
Move your body (exercising or stretching)
Sleep
Spending time with your pet
Crafting
6. Set boundaries
Set boundaries with yourself and with others for the holidays. The first step is to identify your needs in different areas during the holiday season. Once you have identified the needs, set boundaries that will help you meet those needs. These boundaries should be clear and achievable. If the boundary includes someone else, clearly communicate this to them. Keep in mind that “no” is a full sentence and that it’s okay to take a break. Make sure your boundaries include your time to insure you have room in your schedule for self-care.
Throughout this season, keep your focus on Christ because that is where our true peace and joy comes from. Keeping ourselves centered through God is what will truly ground us during the chaos that the holidays can bring.